I’m a very ambitious and visionary individual. An individual that always envisions herself to achieve great things. Because I believe that I’m meant for extraordinary things, always.
Yes, I’m a dreamer. I dreamt thousands of possibilities for me and even created timeline for my achievement.
I should graduate with flying colors in college. I should top the board exam. I should learn things easily and conquer whatever circumstances I face. I should be the best. I should be perfect.
The tyranny of the should.
I should be successful and i should achieve more.
I feel like, I’m running out of time. I need to do it and this.
Why am I not achieving anything?
Why all the shoulds and goals that I set for myself is not being met?
Why my progress is being so slow?
I need immediate result!
This can’t be! I’m up for amazing things. I’m meant for great things.
I need to be great! I’m destine to be one.
Then, I realize how I am being eccentric. My dreams and passion is not the one speaking, it is my ego. I’m full of myself.
I’m not happy. I’m not satisfied.
One day, I found myself being stuck.
I have no idea how will I get out from this blackhole. I’m fighting it and the the more I fight, the more it swallows me.
Help! I want to get out. The darkness is suffocating me. Tears are running and I’m screaming so loud.
But, no one is listening. No one will save me from this mess.
I am my own hero. I am my own savior.
That’s what I’ve thought.
My heart is swelling. Swelling from the love of God.
I’m not alone. God is with me all throughout my life. He’s my provider and my protector.
I turn to God and surrenders everything to Him.
My life feels meaningless because I’m not using my passion and skills to glorify His name.
I’m stuck because I’m being too focused on earthly things.
I’m stuck because I’m afraid to seek help to Him. I’m turning my back to Him because I thought I can stand alone. Not knowing that my skills, passions, and visions are all God’s gift to me.
I lift my heart to Him and I was saved. He will and will always save me. That is for sure.
I see the light and starts to move.
I’m no longer stuck because His love and grace helps me to keep moving.
(Disclaimer: Photo not mine. Source: Pinterest)