Definitely a challenging year for me.
It’s about beginning as well as ending. It’s composed of realizations and hard truth. Tears, confusion, fear, and doubt was very visible. It’s not an easy year but what came to my surprised was that i’m not the only one who felt that. A lot of people experienced that. I’m not alone. But, i knew that we have different share of pain and struggles for this year.
As for me, this is the year wherein, i need to ingest to my being the reality that i’m entering to adulting life. I need to be more responsible and be immerse with that truth.
This year i felt the kind of lost that shakens me. I have to idea where to go?, where to start? what i’m supposed to do? I even questioned my purpose and reason of being here. I came to the point that i lost my motivation and passion to pursue what i really want to do in my life. My dreamer’s heart even stopped beating and i’m so confused. I’m terrified because i can’t figure out what will i do.
Suddenly felt back to zero. My confidence and esteem came to brink. I even consider giving up my dreams because i felt like i’m incapable. I still have so many things i didn’t know. I’m still lacking in so many aspects of life.
My entirety was shaken and devastated. I have no idea how will i save my self from this fall. I felt the destruction of my totality. How can i form it again. Will i hide again in the comfort of darkness? Will i allow myself to be drown in an invisible sea? WIll i allow again the storm to take over?
I prayed. I pray. I’m praying.
I ask for help to the Lord.
He never fails me as always.
I’m letting go.
I’m now ready to let go my love for darkness and romantization for melancholy. This time i’ll be in the light. I am now facing the life with a light. I won’t allow light and darkness be equal. I will allow true light over power. I will face the darkness with the light in my heart.
So, with faith, hope, and light i am welcoming new tomorrow. My fall is a call for reconstruction and redirection. I’m allowing God to guide me to the right path.
Thank you 2018. Hello 2019