Twenty One Years Old Self Speaks


The sky and sea will always be a perfect combination. It always amaze me and makes me feel tranquil. I feel like I’m always home. Because both, is forever connected to something, something unknown and beautiful. I can be connected to the different part of the world. It’s way too magical for me. I’m part of it and it’s part of me. As i look at the sky and sea, i saw endless possibility. I see myself.

As i continue my life’s journey, i encounter different kind of waves, i witness different view of sky. It’s changing. There’s always a transition. It’s the same sea and sky but it has different perspectives and mystery. There’s always something new to offer. Not stoic. It doesn’t fear change but both of them has always sense of serenity and contentment when i  look at it. 

As I reflect, I realized so many things.

1.  It’s always the sense of victory that many people see. People only celebrates the success and happiness. As someone who is average, i always struggle. I’m aware that i’m not always in my best shape. I’m not the best among the rest. I always face the difficulty of life. I struggle in life, family, friends, finances, academics, career, dreams, and myself. You see, i struggle in everything. But, some people perceives that everything seems easy for me. No, life is never easy to me.

2. Just because a person is strong doesn’t mean they should be always. I’ve gone through my own pain and adversity. It demands me to be strong. Because in order to survive this lifetime i need to stand for myself. But, i can’ t be strong all the time. I’m a strong-hearted weak woman.

3. Some people can handle their own dilemma, but it doesn’t mean that they don’t need help. Because sometimes they are the one who needed it the most. They are the loudest in asking for help but we are blinded by their wide smiles and positivity. Little did we know, they are the one who is breaking the most.

4.  Silence is not awkward. There is something fascinating about it that an introvert person like me loves. It’s the melody that makes my heart and soul dance. It makes my mind shout the loudest. It helps me listen to the sound of universe clearly.

5. People who choose to be alone doesn’t mean they don’t want people in their life. Being alone doesn’t mean sadness. I do love to interact with people, talk to them, and be with them. But, i can’t do it for long period of time. It’s draining and exhausting. Feeling belong sometimes makes me feel overwhelm because i’m not used to it. I’m afraid that things might come to an end and if i completely be me and be attach, they will stop liking me and just leave. Also, there’s joy in solitariness, because that’s the time that i can be genuinely true with my emotions and self. It’s the moment that i’m reconnecting with my truth.

6. Melancholy is not always bad. I find sadness beautiful and i find it as part of me. There will always be part of me that is incline to melancholy. It makes me feel alive and it gives me different views of life. Yes, i’m sad but it doesn’t mean i’m  not happy. Sadness helps me to appreciates more the joy and happiness. It helps me to pay attention to the little things of life  and be appreciative to small things.

7. Being afraid is part of life. It’s okay to feel the fear but we shouldn’t let it to take over or control us. For me, it’s better that we have some sense of fear because it pushes us to do something more. It awakens the warrior and fighter in us. 

8. I need to allow myself to grow and embrace change. Sometimes it will be painful but it will be worth it.

9. I always believe that everything happens for a reason. I know that there are  moments wherein things doesn’t make sense, i can’t comprehend why certain things is happening in me but it gives me lessons that i needed in my journey in this lifetime.

10. Good memories is not always good. There are important people in our life that shared good moments in  us. They are good to us and we cherish them. But, it doesn’t mean that we must keep holding on them just because we love them and because of that good things. We must learn to let go if our value is on the line. We must  not put our self-worth at stake. For me, it’s a big no. Well, i’m always saying that i don’t turn my back to people but i know when to walk away because i know what i deserve.

There is still a lot of things in my mind. Just like the sea, i have certain depth and just like the sky my totality is vast that i can’t really fathom.

Published by She Writes

She's a dreamer. Hopes to be lost in oblivion but the truth is, she just wants to be seen and heard. In quest within and lover of life. This, too, shall pass so I will keep going ; I still don't know. I'll rest for the mean time.

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