I am Rebuilding Myself

Without all of the demands of society and my own expectations, who really I am?

Why me?

Why is it happening to me?

This is unfair!

I don’t deserve this!

When life throws hard punches to me, I always react negatively and ask the logic behind it.

I am a good person, why negative things happen to me?

Why life is being unfair to me?

Through the years, I keep on complaining every time hardships come to me. I always believe that I deserve all the best in life then, why I am suffering?

Why I am the only one who suffers? Why I am so unfortunate?

I’m repulsive and break easily. I always blame myself for being sensitive and for being the “good” person I am.

I always have this victim mentality. I’m like this because I am a victim of circumstances. This is not my fault. I am pitiful. People should be more considerate of me. I’m in pain. I suffered a lot. I have sad story.

But, life is not like this. I’m not the only who is suffering. If I will always play the victim card, I will only get pity and sympathy but I will never grow. I will remain a child who never grow.

At some point I was hurt. I was a victim. But, I’m not hurt and a victim forever. I can reconstruct and change the narrative. I can begin again. Because each day, I’m reborn and I have another opportunity to rebuild my life. Rebuild myself. Each day, I am a new version of myself.

This is not always about me. After all, people are all busy tending and looking after themselves. I must stop jeopardizing my own life for blaming them why I am hurt. For feeling disappointed. We are all in our world. Creating our own narrative. Building our own story.

I stopped looking myself as a victim. I am no longer the victim of the past. I’m growing and I am learning.

I will start to run on my own race and focus on my own story.

This time, I’ll stop comparing my chapter with others.

I’ll strip myself and expose my authentic self.

There is nothing in reconstructing, rebuilding, and recreating myself.

All I need is to root it with my own truth and start in appropriate beginning.

This journey of mine will take a lifetime so, I’ll be congruent with my true self.

Yes, I will stumble and struggle but that how it is. Bring it on! I’ll just enjoy the bumps and give my best!

I can do it! We all do!

Published by She Writes

She's a dreamer. Hopes to be lost in oblivion but the truth is, she just wants to be seen and heard. In quest within and lover of life. This, too, shall pass so I will keep going ; I still don't know. I'll rest for the mean time.

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