Letter to Myself

Hey dreamer! It’s okay to be a little lost at your 20’s…

Hey, I want to say that I’m proud of you. I’m proud of all of your versions. I’m proud of you in all of the phases of your life even in your transition period. You are brave and strong for facing your life heads on. Yes, you don’t have the most beautiful story nor history but you’re emerging beautifully. There are times that you wonder if you’re doing a great job, and here I am, I’m telling you…

“You are doing a great job. You’re doing a great job even if you feel like you don’t. You’re doing a great job even if you feel confuse and in doubt of yourself.”

She Writes

Seeing the people around your age having a figured life and a stable job makes you feel pressured. Plus, the standard of society and demands of people around you, that by your age, at 23; you should have accomplished big things and you should be successful.

Then, this pandemic happened, you became more confused and perplexed about your life. Asking yourself, “Oh no! What am I doing with my life?”

You did not stayed long in your first job. You quit and I don’t blame you for doing it. You don’t feel your worth and everyday you question your value as a person. You hoped and waited for the clocked to be at 5:30 pm so, you could get home. You became afraid to commit mistakes and you worked in fear. You know that you can do the job but you can’t feel your worth. You became afraid to be stuck, doing the job that you don’t enjoy. So, you muster courage and decided to listen to your heart. You chose to believe that you have a choice in making your life better.

I saw sadness in your eyes. You feel like you’re light is fading. The dreamer spirit in you is vanishing slowly.

Then, you found comfort and sanctuary with your second job. It was a beautiful experience and breathe of fresh air. You feel alive again. The sparks in your heart is gradually returning and the burning passion of your dream is igniting again.

I saw your smile. A genuine one. Surely, finding a good boss is a blessing. She’s a listener and full of wisdom. I remember something that she said, “It is not genuine compassion if you’re not also compassionate to yourself.” She gave you different perspective in life. Also, you’ve met wonderful people in your second job. Additionally, you remember one of the teacher at the center, she told you that in order to find your purpose, you must know your greatest passion and what the world needs; what is in the middle would be your purpose. You decided to leave your job because you chose to be compassionate to yourself…

I know that you’re still wondering what is really your purpose. It’s okay, dreamer. Be gentle with yourself. I know that you already know the answer. You are just afraid to listen to your heart this time. You’re choosing to give up before giving a fight because you’re afraid to lose since that is your dream and purpose.

Hey! What don’t you try to change your mindset. Since that is your dream and purpose, why don’t you give your all and fight for it at the very end? I know that it would be very difficult and it would be terrifying. But, one thing is for sure, it is not a losing battle. You will never feel like a failure even if you fail. Because you are a victor. God will not forsake you and He will fight alongside with you. He will going to be your strength when you feel weak. He will be with you until the very end, so please be more kind to yourself. Stop beating yourself for feeling not enough anymore.

God is with you so you don’t need heavy armor because He will be your protector. You can embark in your journey with peace and light in your heart. You can face your battles by being you, you don’t need sword and shield because your heart and soul will be your armor. Your mind will be your sword. Because God blesses you with it.

I know that you still feel lost and you fear the unknown. It’s okay to feel lost at 23. It’s okay if you feel like you don’t have a will to pursue your dreams. Give it a rest. Give yourself space. God is preparing you and He will secure what is meant for you.

God is allowing you to fail and lose so that you will appreciate more all of your blessings and the little things in your life. You will get there.

For now, it’s okay if you don’t understand everything. It’s okay if you don’t figure out everything. Allow life to also do its magic.

Hey dreamer! Breathe 🍃 You’re on your way and you will be the person that you are meant to be. Enjoy the journey and live your life.

Love,

M

Published by She Writes

She's a dreamer. Hopes to be lost in oblivion but the truth is, she just wants to be seen and heard. In quest within and lover of life. This, too, shall pass so I will keep going ; I still don't know. I'll rest for the mean time.

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