Calming my own storm in order to create peace within me. But, no matter how much I able to deal with my own storm, there are still times that my serenity is disrupted and when that happens; I can’t do anything to stop the raging storm. All I know is I’m soaked and drowned with the heaviness of my sadness.
The storm is happening before my eyes and I can’t do anything. As if every parts of me were numb and frozen. Witnessing myself fall and turn into pieces is a terrifying scene. I can’t stand for myself and be my own hero.
As I stood steadily, I watched how the storm washes pieces of me in different places; fragments of me were one with the wind. I’m just there. Doing nothing.
There’s feeling of emptiness within me. I wonder why it feels heavy when my heart feels empty? Why is this emptiness feels heavy? Feels heavy that I can’t move. Emptiness that makes me lose my will to continue. Emptiness that kills my hope.
Living with the storm of emptiness is catastrophic. It’s lethal. Losing my hope is a painful death that is happening each day. I don’t know when will the sun shines again.
I can no longer wear my mask, its soak and the rain washes it away. This weariness and emptiness is getting stronger these past few days.
I can’t save myself at the moment…
It’s okay. The rain and storm will stop soon. The sun will rise again tomorrow…