The Cost of My Dreams

To dream is to believe and trust that after we fall we will stand again;

I always believe that I can make all of my dreams come true. I’m so eager and ecstatic to grow and chase my dreams.

For someone who experience poverty and financial instability, I aspire to make money and have a comfortable life. In our household, money is always the issue. So, I dream to be successful and be wealthy.

I turn to education and believes that once I got a degree, my life will be much easier. I can earn money and solve the financial matter.

I was wrong, life is not easy. Sometimes, having dreams alone is not enough. Life’s always tough to me, as if it is not giving me a rest. Every step of the way, I feel like I’m carrying the weight of the world. I always struggle and face with adversity.

Working in our country, having 8:00 am to 5:00 pm job will not suffice the life I’m dreaming and with the minimum salary its definitely a challenge. It is hard.

At 23, I’m lost. I have no idea what will I do in my life. Being wealthy and successful is not my goal anymore. I now prefer deeper dreams and meaningful life.

Losing a job and struggling to find a career that will allow me to strive and will provide me sustainability is another challenge. I don’t know where I belong.

My dreams cost me peace and hope. My self-esteem was shaken and my peace was threaten.

The dream I’m holding on breaks me. The reality cuts me into pieces. I’m so devastated and scared.

Yes, I’m practicing to accept the reality and be more accepting about life. Also, I practice to be grateful and keep my faith.

But, there are times that I resort to overthinking. I’m so frustrated and disappointed with myself. My failure and defeat is louder than my peace and faith.

Sometimes, I have trouble falling asleep because I keep on thinking what is happening in my life and where did I go wrong this time? I’m also exhausted with all the rejections. Moments wherein I just cry to God because I don’t understand anymore.

Pursuing dream is really costly and a rough journey. But, I’m willing to take this journey no matter how hard it is.

Published by She Writes

She's a dreamer. Hopes to be lost in oblivion but the truth is, she just wants to be seen and heard. In quest within and lover of life. This, too, shall pass so I will keep going ; I still don't know. I'll rest for the mean time.

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