Ever since I was a child, it has been my dream to be extraordinary. I always thought that I could reach all of my dreams. I thought that to be successful is to always be on top in everything.
Everyday, I’m aspiring to be great. It is because if I am great no one will make me feel inferior. Everyone will adore my greatness. Everyone will be proud of me. Everyone will honor me.
Every time someone hurts me, I always promised that one day, I’ll be successful and they will regret causing me pain.
Settling for less is not my option. I will not forever stay in lowliness. All I want is to be great and be extraordinary. I am meant to be extraordinary.
But, I realized that my aspirations were coming from a wrong place.
My hatred and vengeance forces me to strive and reach success. I’m hoping to be successful just to prove them wrong. I thought that what matters the most in life is making all the people underestimate me and degrade me to be proven wrong. That their expectations are not right. In fact, I’m really going to be extraordinary and great.
I was wrong.
I stand corrected.
I made a mistake and I accept it.
As I go along in life, I experience plenty of mistakes and failures. There are instances that I’m feeling defeated. I always hate to lose because I thought that they would ridicule me for encountering a dead end.
However, I realized that it doesn’t matter. I feel less because I’m allowing myself to feel inferior. Proving them wrong doesn’t matter and it doesn’t make sense anymore.
I learn to outgrew my hatred.
I’m still working on myself. Everyday I’m encountering a new version of me and I’m acknowledging my weakness as well as the things that I’m so afraid to see in myself.
Yes, I still struggle with my insecurities. My fears still bother me. My failures and mistakes still discourage me. I’m still vulnerable and sensitive. I still get angry and even get jealous.
But, I’m learning to accept and face it gradually. I’m sitting with all my imperfections and I’m recognizing my flaws. It is a difficult process. It is painful because I had to face all the things that I’m afraid to see about myself. I had to deal with it and as I deal with, I’m realizing that I’m not always the person that I always thought that I am.
I have my flaws and it’s okay. I’m in progress and I’m growing.
I’m doing my best to live each day with a grateful heart and a peaceful soul.
Maybe being great and extraordinary is simply about being grounded with who I am.
Or maybe being someone who can walk hand in hand with the people that we love to lessen their pain and to simply be there for them.
Or maybe to be great and extraordinary is to always have a kind and loving heart.